Lubber Net

Utils Module

Borg I have decided to assimilate the insect parasite on that woman's head. That technology could give me the leading edge I need to defeat that cutie, Jean-Luc. My name is name deleted and I work at Naval Research Laboratories.
Troi No, it's not. Your name is, uh, I don't remember. Uh, my IQ is two captain.
Bashir I'm not sure that is possible. I believe several unevolved varieties of ferns have an IQ of at least five or six.
Agnetha I want a nap.
Borg Naps are irrelevant. Ferns are irrelevant. Only the Borg matter. See us live at 7pm Eastern on November 22nd. We're hosting Saturday Night Live.
Troi No. Do you want the bunny?
Agnetha No, thanks.
Troi You sure?
Agnetha That's okay.
Troi I don't know the name of my sister.
Lwaxana Deanna, before I had you, I had another daughter named Zany Fruits. She ran away to join the Swedisn pop group Abba.
Troi We have a bunny hanging out our window.
Bashir I like the Redskins, I want Dax desperately, and I have a British accent.
Borg You need a dictaphone in your life.
Troi I am very confused about the plants.
Borg Woo-hah, we're going to assimilate you!
Agnetha Woo-hah, ring ring ring.
Borg We are going to assimilate Jews.
Deanna (makes roaring face)
Al Sam, you've leapt into the Borg. You have to assimilate the galaxy. Then you have to draw the demarcation line between the Gaza Strip and the Golan Heights. Finally, you have to negotiate peace between the Borg and Deanna Troi.
Troi Gooble. Gooble. Gooble.
Agnetha What am I doing here?
Bashir If we're lucky, a medley of Foreigner's greatest hits.
Agnetha Honey, take me dancing.
Borg I believe that's Paul Simon.
Troi Boozle!
Agnetha He's a genius and he's short.
Borg Agnetha, don't look now but I believe there is a gigantic bug in your hair.
Matt I'm really tired.
Borg We sleep standing up, you worthless poof.
Troi Because the Borg are all on smack.
Matt You have to give me my hat back.
Troi Noooooooooooooooooooooo...!
Lusa & B'etor We're stupid and ugly.
Arby's Girls We're stupid and ugly.
Riker We're stupid and ugly.
National Guitar I'm shining.
Troi Ghiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...!
Tori Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlz...!
Didgerido I'm shining.
Scooby Doo I'm shining.
Agnetha Losing love is like--
Borg I've decided that the whole human race does not have to be assimilated, only the sunglasses.
Bashir Sunglasses can't be assimilated.
Borg Be quiet. We did a study. Sunglasses are the most intelligent life form on Earth.
Agnetha That woman is going to have a heart attack; she is obese and is smoking.
Borg What woman?
Bashir That damn girl, Kira.
O'Brian She's not obese, she's pregnant.
Agnetha (pointing at Borg) You know what? You're going to die, (pointing at Bashir) you too, (pointing at Troi) and even you.
Borg No, I'm not. I smell like fundamentalist Christians.
Troi I'm not going to die either. I'm an android.
Riker No, Deanna. That's Data.
Troi That's right.
Agnetha I'm a member of the Insect Liberation Organization.
Borg I am the human trampoline.
Q I have something to say. This whole Borg thing is my fault. I am sending them back to Borg, Illinois from whence they came.
Picard But Q, I thought you sent us across the galaxy and that is where we first encountered them.
Q No, that was just an elaborate scheme to get you in the sack in the Midwest.
Borg Like a bridge over troubled water, I will assimilate your sunglasses.
Luke You must take me to Jabba now.
Borg A ghu taco Jabba cow.
R2D2 (squeals in orgasm)
Data (with disdain) Ugh -- last year's model.
(All the sunglasses on the ship simultaneous disappear and then reappear on the Borg ship.)
Sunglasses I am Locutus of Borg.
Data Oh, shit!
Seth No, I am Locuthus of Borg.
Troi No, I'm Michael Jackson! Matt, do you want to hide in the trunk and sneak in?
Matt No, you won't let us out.
Agnetha Everyone is stupid but us.
Troi Meep. Meep. Meep.
Borg Give me little people.
Picard I am cute and adorable. Children love me. The bunny is nothing compared to me.
Troi Ghi.
Picard Commander Worf, make it so.
Worf Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... Can I kick the shit out of somebody?
Kirk Kirk to Enterprise. Kirk to Enterprise. There seems to be something wrong with my communicator. I'm the first Jewish captain. Is there a phone around here somewhere?
Troi Arrest that woman!
Agnetha For what? Sexual harassment? Everybody's going to die.
Borg Zeebie. Zeebie. Zeebie.
Troi Exterminate!
Borg The Daleks!
Claire the Bear Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...!
Claire the Nole Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...!
Claire the Nongoose Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...!
Agnetha You look like a donkey and there is a bug in my car. Oh no, I ate it. I didn't mean to eat it. I'm sorry.
Riker Counselor, I have Heck's shopping bags under my eyes. Let's do the twist.
Troi Ghi. Loozler-foozler.
Wesley Can we go to Borg, Illinois?
Agnetha Ghi. Ghi. Ghi. Ghi. Ghi.
Riker Counselor, I stepped in a Borg.
Troi (makes weird face)
Agnetha We are not official.

Page last modified on May 10, 2011, at 09:49 PM
Last edited by Linx.
Based on work by hkdymaxn and uyzmomondp.
Originally by helper.