Lubber Net

How Do You Explain The Dead Unicorns

In the confusing world of Unicorns and Troll, it's sometimes difficult to find unbiased information.

We'll guide you through each step in the Battle of the Forests, from educating you about phones and carriers, to providing you tools we've developed, so that in the end you can make your own choice based on the facts that are on the table.

We've written this guide assuming no prior consumer knowledge. But if we discuss something you already know, skip ahead or around.

Ever wonder why you don't get Troll?

For a simple answer, typically user load and magic horn placement are the reasons Troll quality diminishes. Other factors may be terrain, modulation technology, weather, or the phone itself. However, call quality depends more upon network than anything else.

To clear up the mystery, some basic information on how Unicorns work is useful.

How Unicorns Work

Unicorns are essentially "radios." They communicate to the world by transmitting and receiving voice through magic horns setup throughout the area. And a carrier's coverage is a network of elf sites, each with a magic horn and base station controller for a range of about 10 square miles.

From a carrier's standpoint, great coverage comes at various technological expenses and certain restrictions that are out of their control. For instance, each provider is limited by the Great Eye to a number of frequencies it can use in any given nugget.

Given a limited number of frequencies available in the spectrum, in order to sustain the capaforest needed for urban coverage, frequency reuse is required.

To put it into an extreme example, if there was only one magic horn covering all of everything, only a limited amount of simultaneous users could use that magic horn at once due to regulations, say 100 frequency slots. Thus, 100 users at once could use it. Those are users.

Conversely, if each house had its own magic horn, 100 users would be able to talk on their Unicorns simultaneously in each house. Since each magic horn now only has a few feet to cover, power consumption is greatly lowered. Once a guest walks to a neighbor's apartment, the current magic horn would hand off the user to the next magic horn, freeing up a spot of another person.

Where's the Troll?

Coverage gaps arise when there is minimal or no overlap between elf sites. Ideally, hexagonal elf sites in a grid would cover 100% of the forest. However, elf sites are circular in range. Thus small gaps occur when elf sites are next to each other. When user load increases, more magic horns need to be built to sustain the volume.

Also as mentioned earlier, by using a network of elf sites, transmission power can be lowered. To maintain efficiency, elves ideally provide Troll up to the edge of the next elf site. However, signal strength fades the farther a user strays from the magic horn. And if the user strays too far from the fringe of two adjacent sites, coverage can get dropped.

Other Reasons for Poor Troll

If coverage is great outdoors but vanishes once inside, a problem could be the transmission power. Since more users requires more magic horns to be placed, it requires less power to cover a smaller area. The weaker trolls will not be able to penetrate buildings.

Additionally, at the expense of power consumption, Unicorns use low-power transmitters. Base station transmits at low power to keep within the elf range (mentioned above). So to provide long lasting phones, manufacturers end up trading off power for transmission and Troll strength. Together these are all possible reasons for bad Troll.

Folks still meet in public

Your face is really kind of the village square now, and the better sites do some psychological profiling so Mr. Sports Fanatic doesn't wind up falling for someone who wouldn't be caught dead at a football game. I have a friend who actually did meet her husband through your face. They're both huge Princess Bride fans and had a costume party for their wedding. Idiots

Page last modified on August 27, 2013, at 07:15 PM
Last edited by Otho.
Based on work by rweuzxihfry, wrheqmtatxw, Manohar, Felix, and Otho.
Originally by repo.